Respond to 2 Classmates posts, and please separate the two responses.
I am an only child. My parts used the authoritative style parenting. I knew they were my “boss”, however, I think that my input mattered. Since I was an only child, I was there trail run so to speak. In the article, “What parents learn from experience: The first child as a first draft?”, indicated that “common wisdom about parenthood suggests that mothers and fathers may develop more effective child rearing strategies through practice”. (Whiteman & Crouter, 2003). If my parents had had another child, I’m not certain that their parental styles would have stayed the same. Referencing Erik Erikson’s psychosocial developmental stage of trust versus mistrust, I believe this parental style was most beneficial for establishing trust. I knew that my parents were in control and I had trust in them knowing what was best for me.
I have one son, Alex, and he is nineteen. We have always stayed with my parents due to my illness. My parents took over custody when Alex was 3 months old. I am very grateful for my parents and the sacrifices they have made, but it has not always been easy to deal with. My parents used the authoritative style with my son also. Since it is difficult to raise a child with two mothers, I was much of the time relegated to the permissive style of parenting. In the article, “Grandparents raising grandchildren: The parent perspective”, claims that there are many studies regarding grandparent parenting but few from the parent’s perspective. The study suggests that spirituality has been important to successfully navigate through the diverse and complex issues of this type of family system. (Pigatti, 2005). I would agree that if my parents and I would have not had a rock-solid faith, our family would not have functioned as well as it has. Thankfully during my child’s developmental stages, he had the trust in my parents due to their authoritative style of parenting.
Pigatti, L., & Sanders, G. (2005, October 01). GRANDPARENTS RAISING GRANDCHILDREN: THE PARENT PERSPECTIVE. Gerontologist, (5), 208, Retrieved from http://elibrary.bigchalk.com.libproxy.edmc.edu
Whiteman, S. D., McHale, S. M., & Crouter, A. C. (2003, August 01). What parents learn from experience: The first child as a first draft?. Journal of Marriage and the Family, (3), 608, Retrieved from http://elibrary.bigchalk.com.libproxy.edmc.edu
Children are gifts granted to parents. Ultimately parents have to unwrap these gifts and learn how to use them to the
best of their abilities. The worst part is that this type of gift does not come with any instructions or warning labels. The gift
varies from person to person and how long the gift last is not up to the parent. There are times when our gifts will
disappoint us, betray us, baffle us, belittle us, disrespect us and make us wonder if our gifts were actually a curse.
But then there are those times when the gift makes us feel as though we are the richest persons on the planet. No matter
how talented we may or may not feel, we must teach our gifts and attempt to mold our gifts into something worthwhile.
Baumrind (1966) conducted research that illustrates there are 4 different ways that parents can potentially mold their gifts:
-A permissive parent is more like a friend to their child (Baumrind). This particular parenting style allows the children to be in control of the decision making processes (Baumrind). Berk (2011) states that permissive parents are overindulgent and/or inattentive but can be warm toward their children.
-An authoritative parent, according to Berk (2011), is warm as well but they are attentive, responsive, patient and sensitive to the needs of their child(ren). Historical researcher Baumrind (1966), agrees that an authoritative parent rules over their child but they also invite input from the child(ren) concerning the child’s needs or wants.
-An uninvolved parent is one who makes few or no demands of their child(ren) and is emotionally detached and withdrawn (Berk, 2011). This type of parenting style is referred to by Baumrind (1966) as a neglectful parent whose child(ren) is basically on their own with limited or no input from the parent. Additionally, this type of parent chooses not to get involved in the lives of their children unless they are forced to do so by the courts or other entities (Baumrind).
-An authoritarian parent is the most strict of all. This type of parent gets the only say so when it comes down to their children. Baumrind (1966) asserted that this type of parent makes the rules and the child(ren) must live by them. Force, punishments, psychological controls, verbal abuse, slow to listen, are all attributes of an authoritarian type of parent (Berk, 2011).
I grew up under an authoritative mother and I believe that I, too, am that type of parent to my 3 daughters. Around 10th grade, I slacked up with my 2 older girls and allowed them to venture out into the world by getting jobs and having their own cars. I gave them advice when they came to me, but for the most part I realized that they knew what I would and would not tolerate and that they deserved my trust. When they violated a rule, they suffered the consequences – – just like life. My oldest daughter is a college graduate with her own child, working for the State of South Carolina and enrolled in the Master’s Program while my middle daughter is a freshman at Columbus State University. I still have a 4th grader at home, but I believe that the type of parent you have to be depends on the type of child(ren) that you have. Novak & Pelaez (2004) wrote a book that connects a child’s development with learning concepts and as a parent, we must understand that our role is also about teaching our children. The children must learn and what we should strive to teach them is the best and most reasonable measures to ensure a positive, intelligent and successful transition into adulthood.
Consider outcomes to Erikson’s stages for each parenting style. How would each parenting style impact psychosocial development according to Erikson?
According to Berk (2011), Erik Erikson’s lifespan theory of development occurs in the Eight States of Human Life. Children learn how to resolve conflict and by doing so, their personality develops along with their behavior (Berk).
As an infant, a baby cries and when those cries are responded to then the infant learns to trust. If the infant cries and cries and cries and no one responds then mistrust is developed.
During age 1-2 years old, whomever is watching the baby is charged with helping them become more independent but that person can also create feelings of shame and doubt in the baby by their responses to the baby’s actions (Berk, 2011).
From 3-5 years of age, Erikson is credited with calling this the initiative versus guilt phase of childhood where the toddler is mastering new things under the direction of the parent but if the parent does not create a sense of initiative for the child then the child can form a sense of guilt from the criticism from the parent.
Middle Childhood is characterized by Erikson as ages from 6-11 in a developmental phase termed industry versus inferiority. These are the years when children experience frustration do to their inability to do well in school. On the other hand, children that soar academically begin to realize their ability.
Adolescence happens from ages 12-20 and is known by Erikson as the identity versus identity confusion state where the youth is attempting to create a sense of identity. Ultimately they may become confused as to who they really are.
Intimacy versus isolation occurs during early adulthood from 20 to 40 years of age when men and women are forming romantic relationships and if they aren’t then those persons are feeling a sense of isolation.
Generativity versus Stagnation has set in for myself because I fall into Erikson’s category of Middle Adulthood which occurs from 40-60 years of age. I agree that it is during this time that I feel as if I want to matter to my family and to society. I want to feel fulfilled and to know that I am leaving behind a legacy for my children. Some of my peers have told me that they feel like there is no clear path for their future and that they are complacent and simply want to slide into retirement with a stagnant attitude.
The 8th and final state is that of integrity versus despair which occurs in late adulthood after 60 years old. Erikson states that this is the phase where we look back over our lives and if we are happy by what we have accomplished then we live a happy last few days on this earth but if we aren’t then we experience despair and hopelessness and turn into grumpy old people and will possibly end up in a nursing home with no visitors.
For example, which style is most likely to produce a positive outcome during the stage of trust versus mistrust? THE AUTHORITATIVE PARENT would more than likely produce a positive outcome during the infancy stage.
Baumrind, D. (1971). Current patterns of parental authority. Developmental
Psychology Monographs, 41(1, Pt. 2).
Berk, L.E. (2011). Exploring lifespan development, 2/e.Pearson Education, Inc.
Novak, G., & Pelaez, M. (2004). Child and adolescent development: A behavioral
system approach. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.